The Wolverine review.

wolverineWell. I’d heard middle-of-the-road to off-the-road reviews on The Wolverine and knew that rather than just accept it as mediocre, I’d have to see for myself. It’s taken some time, but I can now say from my own experience: I will probably never watch this movie again.

See, loads of people have complained that it’s too much Logan and not enough Wolverine, but as proven by Man of Steel, that’s not necessarily bad. I certainly liked the more human slant on the superhero for a change. The problem is, well, about everything else. I liked the Logan moments, I did enjoy (and admittedly giggle like a girl over) the bath scene where he gets scrubbed up to his former glory, but I found a lot of the comedic parts forced. The space-themed room was one instance. It was just too out of the blue, and no one really laughed as much as I think was intended.

The writing was poor too. I mean, there’s some moments in a film where you need lines to proper smack down. A line where you go Shit, that’s great! So, when Wolverine comes back from the presumed dead, and says something along the lines of “Don’t hit my friends”, it’s a bit shitty. It’s also too notably forced to say “Fuck you, pretty boy” . Across the board, if a line stands out because it jars the flow, it’s not good. That happened a lot.

AND! The plot. It had its ground (I’ve not read the comic it’s based from, so I can’t speak for how good that was), but even the big twist (gasp!) felt predictable. The Viper was, from my understanding, not as central a character before the film (might be wrong?) and I’d say I can see why. I really, really disliked the character as a whole. Might be alone on that one, but I just think she was a crappy villain. There was a point in the film where I thought things could be coming to a head, and then I realised there was still a gaping plot hole around her, and so there was a lot more to go.

Hugh Jackman: you are great. I love you as Wolverine, and it’s just this film that I think is lame. I mean, much like the lines that stood out for the wrong reasons, the forced Japanese iconography annoyed me too. They’ve all flitted out of my mind now, but on the walk home I kept going on about how I felt they were trying to tie meaning to words, phrases, stories, items just for minor plot bits later that really didn’t matter. The only one I’d give leeway too is the two hands on the sword, but even then, that wasn’t actually that much of a revelation.

So, I feel sad. I really wanted this film to be great as a Wolverine fan, and as someone who – unlike most of my friends – seem content with more focus on the human side of characters, than solely the super-human, thought I might have liked it more. I did not, however. There’s just far too much I can pick apart. Sigh. Maybe next time.


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